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Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Guidelines for Submittal

I’ll try to make this as brief as possible, so here goes. YOU MUST READ AND UNDERSTAND THIS BEFORE E-MAILING ME! Just about anything goes on this website, but there have to be some guidelines to prevent it from going crazy.

1. Statement must be clear and concise, and in one sentence. (BIRT George W. Bush should be killed, not BIRT George W. Bush, President of the United States of America is a moron and should be voted out and killed and murdered and then his body should be torn apart and destroyed and fed to wolves.)
2. Statement should begin with BIRT, which stands for “Be it resolved that.” For example, BIRT George W. Bush is ugly.
3. The statement must be precise. Not “BIRT George W. Bush is dumb.”
4. The statement has to be something that will be understood by a broad audience. Not “BIRT the new Costco in Garth, Illinois is really ugly.”
5. Finally, the statement must be defeatable. Although light-hearted debates are great, you cannot e-mail me random messages like “BIRT my middle finger is shorter than my index finger” or “BIRT the sky is blue.” These are impossible to debate, because they are undeniable scientific truth. I’m up for conspiracy theories, if you think you can prove something that was previously thought to be fact is not, but I’m not up for “BIRT the grass on my front lawn is green.”

Here is a super-good example: “BIRT the war in Iraq is unnecessary and the USA should therefore withdraw at its nearest convenience.”

Here is a super-bad example: “my m0m h8s ur m0m + shes way hawtr thn urs!”

So with all that in mind, e-mail me! Feel free to include multiple things; in fact that would be encouraged.

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About me

  • I'm grant0
  • From Toronto, Ontario, Canada
  • A rambling, brilliant, stupid, disorganized, witty, sarcastic high school student. In Toronto. What more do you need?!
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